I’m a former honorary member of the Wig Party. Once upon a time I wore wigs and named all of them too. I wore them to hide behind my natural hair at a time in my life when I was fearful of standing out, my textured hair not being acceptable, and appearing unkempt to people in my social circles. I wore wigs or added hair everywhere. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t imagine leaving the house without wearing these “perfectly laid” wigs. That’s when I knew the wig/s was/were a crutch for me. Wigs are not bad, my dependency on wigs was the problem. I would cancel going to the gym and other appointments because I was fearful of what my social group would say or think.
It seemed silly to be so dependent on a mass of hair sewn to a wig cap. I would say I experienced some uneventful moments from wearing those pesky wigs. I suffered the following:
- misalignment during a staff meeting
- worrying if people knew if I was wearing a wig
- having my scalp feel like it was baking especially during the dog days of summer
- running and having it blow off my head (my son still reminds me of that one moment)
- having it tip off of my head when was getting a body massage and my massage therapist having to hand it back to me at the end of my appointment 😮
A few embarrassing mishaps …is an understatement. I’ve experienced countless luke-warm memories, enough to want to make a change. I knew wearing my natural hair would mean that I would have to work on myself.
Self Love & Acceptance
There would be no more hiding my hair. To be true to myself in the truest sense of authenticity its a bridge I was willing to cross. Was I fearful? Yes! I was terrified and it wouldn’t be easy. Talk about being vulnerable, this is a very humbling experience. I had some work to do first. The easiest way was to not care what anyone thought of me. I had to embrace ALL of me despite who didn’t like my natural.
Fros & Beaus
I’ve had a friend’s husband say some distasteful things about my natural hair when I chose to embrace it. My husband quickly addressed that and I received that apology. This showmanship was something that I’d never forget. There is nothing like a man that loves you, ALL of you and rises up against the asunders. ~ Matthew 19:6
Above it All
Day by day, I built my inner man, searched for my inner beauty, building up my self-esteem with self-reaffirmations and learning to love myself despite it all because God made me in his image and He Loves Me despite it all. During this journey of self-love, I loved whatever came…bad hair days, less than perfect hair days, good hair days, it didn’t matter. My prayer was to embrace it all!
When I did, I have never felt more empowered to be Natural and totally Liberated!
Surprisingly, when I stopped suffocating my hair with the daily use of wigs day in and day out, my stagnant natural hair has since grown leaps and bounds. I hadn’t realized I was stifling my hair from giving it LIFE. I look back and think, why didn’t I love myself better? I didn’t know my self-worth. God gave me the strength to embrace me and empower my natural hair clients to do the same.
Check out tv celebrity, Sheryl Underwood, whom I went to see at the DC Improv make amends with her community and Reveal her Natural Hair hiding behind her many wigs.
If this resonates with you, leave a comment.
Thanks for sharing. I felt the same way. I wore braids for years, and then a full weave for at least 3 years. I have been natural for many years underneath it all, and finally decided to come out of the closet in May 2014. It was very hard at first getting to know and accept the real me. Please read my post “Natural Hair Blues” http://kimswhatsup.wordpress.com/2014/10/04/natural-hair-blues/
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Thanks kim! Will do.
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Great post. Thank you for sharing your insight and wisdom.
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Thanks Kim! I appreciate you.
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I love your story. What you did took a lot of courage and a lot of courage again to write about it. We as Black women really must learn to love every part of ourselves and that means our hair too. Thank you for creating a space for more of us to connect to our beauty.
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Maureen thanks for reading my blog 🙂 I Heart my Readers! Follow & Stay tuned for more…
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